Is this really necessary?

One of my favorite generic irritated questions to ask is, "How fuckin' lazy do you have to be?" Granted, I'm extremely grateful that I don't have to grow my own wheat, mill it, keep a yeast colony growing and cut my own firewood, among other things, to make the bread for my peanut butter sandwiches (or, for that matter, shepherd my own peanuts from seed to lunch). But for instance, as much as I love my car, it irked me that the model only came with power windows. How much effort does it take for someone to roll down the windows him- or herself? Same with television remotes. After all, I can get up and use the switch on the television. It is not an imposition. So when I saw this article, I had to wonder if someone had missed the point. Oh yeah, one more thing: we all drive stick in this house. It's just not that hard.

Retired

A friend of mine recently had his first experience getting a flat fixed. That made me realize that I'd ho-hummed getting on my third tire and fourth or fifth tube on my rear wheel over the weekend. The first tube I replaced took about an hour; the procedure for time and tubes this time took about 10 minutes (the first tube I put on had two holes in it). I've read rears go bad more quickly because they bear more weight. A bead failed on the first tire. The second tire died a death of maybe a dozen cuts and nicks. It also appeared to be fatally compromised by what felt like several strands of jewelry wire. The third tire is holding up well after 16 miles. Those first two tires managed to survive a variety of indignities, including rocks, nails and cotter pins. The tubes did not endure the indignities as well and suffered from some I inflicted, such as a valve stem I kicked off and particularly pointy rock that I hit at just the wrong angle. Not to mention nails, pins and wire. Yet at the other end of the bike, after thousands (eight? 10?) the original front tire thrives. Go figure.

A glimpse of the buffalo

There I was, closing in on the middle of nowhere. Another cyclist turns right from a side road to my left and starts coming toward me. "Huh," I said. "His jersey has blue sleeves and a red body just like the one I'm wearing." As we near, I realize his jersey has the same message as mine: "New Belgium Brewing Company." Go down a couple of entries and you'll see what I'm talking about. I didn't just give a polite cyclist's wave, I pointed. I've never thought of southeastern Chatham County a site for synchronicities but maybe I'll have to reconsider.

C'dork's Friday ride guide: nine miles for any time

I may go on this ride tomorrow. Or I may not. It's tremendous virtues include that it is short and goes through scenic, rolling country, including some of the N.C. State vet school farms, a state park and a forest managed by the N.C. State forestry school. Not so virtuous, perhaps, is the subdivision of big-ass honkin' houses that's gone in between the forest and the state park. But the silver lining in that, from my selfish perspective, is about a mile and a half of beautifully paved road between the park and Edwards Mill Road that makes this ride possible on a road bike. Particularly as the days get longer this route will make a terrific after-work sprint, at least by my leaden, old-man standards. My goal for this ride is 30 minutes or less, with an emphasis on less.

Where the 'dork pedals

Notice the Web links at the right of the picture. These are all sites I frequent and that have been blogged about specifically (e.g., Sheldon Brown) or are places from where many of you have followed links to come here (e.g., Cycling Plus forums). Cycledork is only about several months delinquent letting readers know where the good stuff is. Expect to see more links in the future.
One link that I don't believe has been referred to previously is New Belgium Brewing Company. New Belgium, which brews Fat Tire Amber Ale among other things, is in Fort Collins, Colo. I go to Fort Collins every summer to visit my mom. My bike comes with me. Fat Tire, of course, refers to the rubber of the cruiser depicted on the ale's label. Years before I ever hit the road and meant it, since I was a Fat Tire drinker, I knew that New Belgium was into bikes. "Tour de Fat: A Ballyhoo of Bikes and Beer" is one of its biggest promotions.
Anyway, in 2005, on my first ride in anything like mountains, I pulled into the overview at the top of Horsetooth Reservoir, and caught another cyclist, J.T. He was taking the scenic route to Estes Park to pick up his car; I was just out for a spin in south central Larimer County. Anyway, we rode together for about 15 miles. During that time I learned he had started his dream job a few months before as a brewer at New Belgium and for fun he was a semipro (my phrase) mountain-bike racer. Beer brewing bike racer leads me on my first ride along the rollers? Let's just say the realization of that white buffalo vision quest and the wisdom imparted still affect me and for the better: hydrate; get plenty of sleep. And to my knowledge it involved no hallucinogens.

The other Thor's younger brother

The accompanying picture is of Ted, the Norse god of bicycle repair. Recently deciphered runic texts, provided by Carl Fogler from the annals of Trygve Lode, reveal the following:
"[Ted] is holding Mjollnir, the fabled metric wrench of the gods, feared by the Rime Giants (sometimes translated as Corrosion Ogres). His purely historical headgear should not become the subject of helmet wars."
Lode goes on to explain the nature of Mjollnir — and its continued existence — as well as other, underappreciated elements of Norse legend: "[T]he so-mythical-as-to-be-utterly-forgotten Spanner of the Gods had fallen into my hands. While rushing home to fetch this legendary tool — aided and abetted by the redoubtable Terrylee — the long-lost Norse myth, 'Spam and the Spanner,' which told the story of how Spam came to be the sacred food of the Vikings was...um...recovered."
Sometimes the mead really does drip from Valhalla.

I want my cycling.tv

Start asking too many questions, following too many threads and end up watching videos of stage races in Scotland. Cycling.tv appears to be a production of Procycling, a U.K.-based print magazine. In one way it's hard to relate to professional cycling because it's so far removed from the world of cycledork but on the other hand it is cool to watch because the riders are so good. So you'll pardon me if I have to get back to secrets being revealed by Norwegian cycling god Thor Hushovd. Then we've got to move these refrigerators, we've got to move these color TVs ….