Goo to the last drop

For Christmas my daughter gave me some single-serving sports-energy concoctions. The virtue of these products is that they are meant to replace minerals and nutrients lost during strenuous exercise while being extremely portable. My rule of thumb, depending on the situation, has become one tube every 15 or 20 miles with water. Whether it's crap or not I do feel perkier in a hurry.

Specifically the individual portions from Christmas were of GU Energy Gel (Just Plain flavored), Jelly Belly Sport Beans (orange) and a PowerBar triple threat energy bar (Caramel Peanut Fusion). I was skeptical but these were gifts given in love so why not?

I tried the GU first and was impressed that the flavor lived up to its description, just the tiniest hint of vanilla or banana or both.

Next were the Sport Beans. Think Tang-tasting texturized chewy chalk. Not something I would choose for myself but still interesting in a mildly provocative way.

The PowerBar had all the appeal of sweetened sawdust that's supposed to be good for you.

Bottom line on those three: the GU is a clearly labeled, no bullshit product. One tube, one serving. The package says each serving provides 100 calories, 2 percent of the daily value of sodium, 1 percent of potassium, 2 percent calcium and 100 percent each of vitamins C and E. The beans sported a similar range of nutrients but generally lower percentages. It turns out the PowerBar is loaded with nutrients and leaves the GU and Sport Beans in its sawdust in that regard. It's also in the largest package and the messiest to eat.

So I learned I could buy into, and buy, gooish, products. So over several months of trips to The Spin Cycle and Performance Bike, I picked up tubes of PowerBar Gel (tangerine), Carb Boom! Energy Gel (strawberry kiwi), Accel Gel Protein Powered Sports Energy, Clif Shot Energy Gel (strawberry) and Clif Shot Bloks (lemon lime). All have about the same nutrient levels although the PowerBar gel comes with various levels of sodium and caffeine.

Carb Boom! is nasty, as is the Clif Shot gel. They had chemically induced strawberry flavors only in the same sense that Ovaltine is supposed to be chocolate but is really spinach-flavored dog turd.

The Accel Gel left no impression. All I can say is that it was gooey and sticky.

The Clif Shot Bloks were like high-energy Jell-o shots but they did not make me want to dance on tables. I was also sort of freaked out that they have the same consistency after an hour in a cycling jersey as they do at room temperature.

The PowerBar gel is everything the energy bar wasn't. Though not nearly as nutrient rich it actually offers flavor that to some could resemble tangerine in a small package.

At $1.40 a pop, I try to use my goo strategically, saving it for occasions when I'm going to work really hard or when I'm going a long way (50 miles or more). Since it's hot today and I want to go about 65 miles I'll have two or three with me.